TOUCH: Muscle Relaxer

SO I went to my doctor yesterday and she told me that I should get a muscle relaxer. I told her I hate pills and I don't even take vitamins because I can't keep them down. It was only pride that kept me from asking if there were cherry flavored syrup muscle relaxers, because I'm good with liquids. Anyway, after much discussion she wrote me out two prescriptions and gave me the sample for one. I went about my day, worked late, then went home. After a while I decided to put on some music, get my journal, write out recent events in my life, and take the sample muscle relaxer. The rest is kind of a blur after that. Alison was there, then she wasn't, then she was talking to Amber, then it was quiet. At one point I thought Brad Pitt was marching his children who where (in my delusion) an Olympic Team (from what country??) through my kitchen. I can tell you for sure that much didn't happen.

Through this whole experience, I just wanted to be picked up and carried to bed, and tucked in and read to like I was when I was a little girl.

I hate that disoriented feeling. I hate not feeling connected to a given place. That is the take-home lesson of muscle relaxers. While I didn't feel any painful tightness in my shoulder or knee for those twelve hours, I also didn't feel connected to anyone. It is absolutely silly but the event of earlier in the day left me feeling kind of one minute you know where you are going to be in eight months, and in the next minute, you are immobilized on your sofa, waiting for someone to carry you to bed.

In the same way, it is true that many people isolate themselves from God and people that love them because all they see is rules. I believe that we were created to live in community with one another and God. That life isn't about rules and lists, but about truly learning how to be connected with each other and God. Why are so many people against chasing after God and healthy circles of friends? I don't see how trying to do life on your own terms, away from loved ones, and God-things (prayer, Bible reading, worship) are good for you.

The muscle relaxer has worn off by now, and I feel a bit of the pain of my injury, but I also feel more alert and able to speak coherent sentences. Carry that thought over to spiritual things, blows my mind a little.