4 Awkward Reactions

This single girl’s 4 reactions to getting hit on.

So I don’t know about you, but I get hit on in the most absurd places. Walking from my car to the main building of my office, gassing up my car, and once, stopping my car at a red light. I don’t know if it’s the water of North Philly, or maybe it’s the proximity to my new car (new car + high heels = success?) but its happened four times recently and I never react like a normal person. Observe:

#1: “You’re hot, can I have your number?” “No, but why don’t you say a prayer for me”

I don’t know why, but when I was in line to get gas yesterday, some guy was commenting on my appearance to another guy in Spanish. I could have let it go, but I turned to them and said, “Deben ser respetosos.” Or something to that affect. They took that as an invitation to ask for my number, to which I replied, “No, but tell you what? Why don’t you say a prayer for me?”

Who says that to someone who’s hitting on her? Apparently this girl right here. Although as I think back on my reaction yesterday, I think it may have been a healthy one from a spiritual standpoint. If you want to call me, why don’t you ask my Devine Matchmaker if that’s ok?

#2. “Um, I just wanted to know if you’d like to call me some time.” “Huh? You’re old.”

I think we all know that I constantly put my foot in my mouth. Sometimes I think a story is super funny, and everyone else thinks its kind of accidentally inappropriate. Since my high school days I’ve realized that in situations like these, the correct response would be to smile and keep my mouth shut. Unfortunately my mouth doesn’t listen to the rational part of my brain. And when old people hand me their number on a sticky note, I tend to act like a blonde and say whatever I’m thinking at the moment. Sorry Geezer.

#3. “Honey you should call me some time.” “Get a license. Don’t you think you should wear a helmet?”

I love North Philly. It’s the type of neighborhood where men have cojones enough to speak to someone they think is attractive. But did you know that this starts young? North Philly wastes no time on teaching their boys on relating to women. And I don’t know if you know this, but traditionally in Philly, the guys have the cars and the girls ride in them. Not the other way around. We are not living in traditional times. And sometimes I feel the need to school kids on the ways of our city.

One such educational experience was when I was enjoying the music of Michelle Branch while at a stoplight. Mr. I-can’t-shave-yet rode up next to my car and attempted to talk to me. He wasn’t wearing a helmet, and I think it’s a requirement for anyone under 12. So I told him as much. I think this is a reverse case of number 2 actually, because why couldn’t I just keep my mouth shut and roll up my window like a normal person? Did I think the kid was going to run out to Rite Aid and buy a helmet with his milk money?

#4. “Can’t I talk to you?” Me: Laughter.

Sometimes I’m having a bad day. Sometimes I’m having a good day. In either situation I’m not expecting any hood off the street or any delivery guy, security guard or cop to attempt to talk to me. I’m just not. About the only place I’m contented enough to be hit on is maybe at my apartment or New Jersey and you know either location is really not conducive to meeting people I’m not related to.

I mean in any given moment I’m thinking 50 different things. The only place my mind slows down and relaxes is when I’m with loved ones. Anywhere else and I’m crazy awkward. One gentleman just couldn’t grasp this. “Want to go out?” Laughter. “Want to see a movie?” Laughter. “Can’t I talk to you?” Laughter. “Why the hell are you always laughing?” If I weren’t laughing this is what I would say: “I forgot deodorant today, I’m late on turning in reports, my contacts are sticky, I have no gas in my car, I have to pick up my sister, and you want to go out with me? I'm a mess.” More laughter.

So now that I’ve exposed my awkwardness for all to see, tell me your funny reactions to being hit on in unsuspecting places. And while your at it, why don’t you gather together with some geezers and some young’ins and pray for me while I laugh?